Yeah so totally no formals rules exist for interacting with people you’ve just met via text. Perhaps this explains how some go from ok to wacko in 140 characters or less. In any case- we really need to establish a protocol.
Yesterday I get off the train from a Target trip and am approached by this guy. He introduces himself and I tell him my name. The rest of the conversation goes like this.
-That’s a nice name. So people call you like “Rolla” or something?
me: Um….no. People call me by my name.
-Well I’d like to shorten it to….
me: You just said I had a nice name, why are you trying to chop it up? I told you my name, you should call me by my name.
-Where are you from?
me: Here.
-But like where?
me: New York
-What’s your nationality?
me: I’m American.
-But what country are you from?
me: The US
-Oh. I’m Guyanese. I’m from Guyana.
me: ok
-You’re attractive.
me: thanks
-Do you have any kids?
me: What? What kind of a question is that?
-Well do you? I don’t have any kids.
me: No.
-Are you married?
me: Wow. You ask a lot of questions. I’ve known you for like 3 minutes.
-Yeah I’m an open person- I ask a lot of questions.
me: Yeah. I can tell.
-I’m 35. How old are you?
me: I’m too old to be telling strangers how old I am.
-You’re very pretty. I’d like to call you sometime and maybe take you out. Can I give you my number?
me: You can give me your number, but I’m not going to call it.
-Can I have your number then? What would be a good time to call you?
me: I dunno. I’m going out tonight so I won’t be around.
So I give him my number. Mostly because it seemed easier to say yes than no ,and by this time we were in front of my building and I just wanted this guy to go away. I go inside to get ready for a friend’s housewarming party- it’s just after 6:30pm. Then it starts….
(all these text messages are verbatim; the spelling and punctuation are his)
7:13pm U make my day
7:26pm PHONE CALL
7:47pm Give me a call when you get sometime sweetheart!
10:42pm Hi sexy.
11:02pm me: “Hi”
11:02pm How u doing
11:17pm I guess you busy sweetheart
11:17pm Good nite
8:00am Picture 1
8:39am Picture 2
9:52am PHONE CALL #2
9:53am PHONE CALL #3
9:54am Hi sexy what are you doing today u mind if I take u out!
2:19pm PHONE CALL #4
2:20pm PHONE CALL #5
2:21pm Am saying you just gave yo # to gave it!
3:00pm me: “No. I just didn’t know you would call 5 times and send 10 texts and pictures in less than 24hrs. I went out last night and slept in today. Maybe giving you my number was a bad idea.”
Really? Dude just wouldn’t stop. He really never gave me a chance to call him back or whatever. Any interest I might have had was gone after he spent hours blowing up my phone! And who sends (unsolicited) topless pictures of themselves in durags to strangers at 8am Sunday morning? Was that supposed to entice me? I’m sayin, after not hearing from me all night dude woke up early to take pictures of himself with the phone. Or did he have the pics on his phone already just in case someone asked? And the shirtless one looks like he just got out of the joint.
But I digress….now I know the guidelines on texting are unclear- but in the absence of hard and fast rules common sense should take over. Like if the person you’re trying to reach isn’t responding to your texts or phone calls, either they aren’t getting them or they are choosing not to respond. But either way…come on. So now I’ve clearly upset dude because I’m not walking around with the phone in my hand or structuring my day based on his offer to take me out. And serial texter knows what building I live in. Soon enough it will become very obvious to him that I’m not going to date him- and who knows how he’ll react. So if something pops off- please show the pics of shirtless Jack to the cops. Thanks. (and note the nappy chest hairs. ok i’m done.)
UPDATE: now dude is sending pics of his penis. I’ll never understand the genital photography. Like ok it’s Monday morning, and you decided to get up and text penis pics to a stranger who already told you that you were coming on too strong?! Again was this supposed to entice me? I really need to work out this blocked number thing.
UPDATED UPDATE: After like 4 days dude started sending nasty texts like “you’re and ugly fat bitch” “you know you wanted me to send those pictures” etc” And he kept calling, like constantly. So one of my guy friends answered my phone and was like- really dude, you need to stop. The situation kept escalating so I called AT&T, got the number blocked, and had to file a police report. Dude is clearly unhinged. Some dudes just can’t handle rejection. Bananas.
